/death

B:
Just come back to see me. I’ll probably be bbq’d for free by the state, but just come and pay respects if you will. I hope to see you soon, I know you’re busy and popular and well loved and rightfully so, but sometimes, even the tallest cups of fat ass need a hug. I need that. But I digress.

J:
You know what the deal is. I will be emailing you within the next year or so every technical item I’ll need you to take care of with careful instructions and a diagram with a key map for you. If you find any of my tools of value, please take. Donate the gear or sell it, but I’d prefer you’d donate it to some unfortunate kid who wants to hack and learn sysadmin stuff but can’t afford the gear. How you find her/him/they is not for this page.

I’ll also need you to do the social media posts and contact my friends, my friends are the most important thing, and some of the important staff members I’ve had over the years that have shaped me into a better human being, at least if it was only for a little while.

Matt:
Everything I have that isn’t sold or donated is yours, my pens, notebooks, keyboards, game consoles, please take them. I am still alive while writing this obvs, and I hope that one day in the near future I’ll get a chance to tell you a few things, but for now, just know I love you bro, but fuck a Wolverine, Go Bucks!

Shana:
I am just putting this here in case you have been contacted and want to show up or know anything at all. I sent that email to your work email address and I didn’t expect you to call me or contact me at all and you didn’t. Funny thing is I wasn’t pressed about it which is progress. I was twenty some odd years older than the last time I saw you, and wisdom makes the heart get some common sense and decency. I love you with a fire in my belly that has been there since the last time we properly said a goodbye without any bitterness. The grief and regret I felt, I hope, was punishment enough, retribution enough, it was and is a torture I deserved but am glad to have ultimately escaped, even if at the end of my wasted life. Wooo! Look who’s getting weepy. Not me!

John:
I think the best thing I could do, for myself at least, is something I won’t write here. I will tell you when it comes close to time for me to return to dust and return back into the universe as the star stuff we all are composed of. You’re a beautiful man, inside, outside, all over and I love you, have loved you, was in love with you until the bitter bitter end of my initial time in our home town. It didn’t go- it probably wouldn’t have even if it could. Forces beyond us kept that from happening and by the time I came back home, you were seeing someone else and I was a recluse and shell of who I was before I left. I had seen some thangs. And after my time out there I was never the same person. I am sorry for that. I love you. That kiss on the bench swing when we were like, what I was like 28 and you were around 30. Do you remember that? That was amazing but the best memory I have of that time was when we were in the hippie dippy woo woo shop looking at and smelling oils and you walked up behind me, put your hand on my shoulder, and wafted a vile of oil in front of my nose. You said, “It’s Jasmine. I love the way Jasmine smells on a woman.” That whole fucking scene has replayed in my head upwards of 100,000 times and I never get tired of it. There are reasons for that, because there were levels to that whole thing we had. And I love you for that.